A Trip to Kijabe and CURE International Hospital - God's Love in Action!

Yesterday we went to Kijabe, about an hour away from where we are in Nairobi, to the CURE International Hospital.  We took two people with us who needed medical attention.  We chose CURE because of its reputation for medical excellence and financial integrity, and found that it was well worth the trip.

There were baboons to greet us! 

 I didn't know that we would see some of the most beautiful scenery I have seen in Africa to this date!
The mountains were covered in mist as we arrived early in the morning, but by the afternoon, the mist had burned away, and we could see the beautiful landscape more clearly.

 The entrance to the hospital is quite obscure.  I am so glad that our driver, John, knew the way - I would NEVER have been able to find it on my own!

 We were warmly welcomed by the staff in the Pediatric outpatient ward.  Phoebe, an 11-year old girl with Cerebral Palsy, is being followed by the orthopedic docs and PT staff to evaluate her present and future plan of care.  My friend Jane, pictured below with Phoebe, has truly been "Jesus with skin on" to her!

 The young woman I asked you to pray for regarding possible treatment for 6 years of infertility is pictured with me below.  We will return in a few weeks for further evaluation by the GYN team, and probable surgery.  Please continue to pray that this will lead to the fulfillment of her dream to become a mother soon!

 As we left the hospital, we needed to drop off some sewing machines at a nearby children's home with whom we have collaborated.  The children were so sweet, and hugged and kissed me - some right on the lips!  

 As we headed home, we rejoiced in God's goodness that this wonderful hospital is so close to us, and is located in such a beautiful part of Kenya.  We felt ministered to by the staff, and by the beauty of God's creation!

More Musings on Ugly Underbellies ... and a Prayer Request!

     So, I have been thinking some more about the whole transparency thing - being willing to be vulnerable emotionally and spiritually with my fellow believers, and unbelievers alike, for that matter! - and have come to the conclusion that, while it may be difficult to do, it is critically important in the Body of Christ.  Now, I know that this is not a new concept, and most of us would agree that being authentic with each other is an emotionally healthy thing to do.  So, my questions are:  why is it so hard to do - and why don't we do it more in the Body of Christ?  And, an even deeper question I have, in light of my desire to know and practice transparency and authenticity in my emotional and spiritual lives:  what is my real motivation for doing so - and for serving in full-time Christian ministry in the first place?
    To tackle the first set of questions, the only thing I can come up with is that it is hard on us to take the risk of being viewed as less than perfect.  Especially in the Body of Christ, to admit weakness or sin is to risk being thought of as less spiritual - to slip a little in the whole spiritual hierarchy thing that is an unspoken, but very crippling, reality in the Church.  If we can't let others see our struggles, we prevent others from being able to see how God's strength can be made perfect in our weakness.  To present a dynamic, maturing spiritual growth process to our fellow believers, and to unbelievers whose main criticism of the Church is that it is filled with hypocrites, is our privilege and responsibility!  But, we just have such a hard time doing it!  How much I rob myself, and others, of the blessing of being known, and loved unconditionally by being unwilling to be transparent!  No wonder God hates the sin of pride the most - one of the reasons, I suspect, is that it keeps us from experiencing Him, His love and His grace, to the fullest extent, and it prevents the Body of Christ from knowing and extending Agape love to each other, and to the world.
     The second set of questions is a little more difficult.  If I am unflinchingly honest with myself, I have to admit that sharing my struggles is motivated by a need for comfort and validation, (not that those things are necessarily bad - I do realize that it's okay to admit that I need comfort and validation!)  But, my motives are not always based on the more nobler intent to encourage others in their spiritual journeys, and to encourage their spiritual growth.  In fact, I wonder if some of my motivation to serve in Christian ministry may be for my own glory - to be thought of as spiritually mature, self-sacrificing, and noble.  In addition, how much of it is motivated by my own need to be loved and admired?  It is not hard to be loved by children who desperately need a mother figure here in the childrens' homes, or by people who see me as the hero when I help them medically.  How much will I find my heart's desire fulfilled in ministry if - or when - I face rejection, or if my intentions are misunderstood or even discredited?  In essence, what I am doing this for - my glory, or God's?!                
     Oswald Chambers talks about this very issue in Christian service in his devotionals - that many workers burn out and give up because their motivations are based on self-fulfillment and gratification, instead of a sincere desire to preach Christ and Christ alone - to see Him glorified and to make Him known - regardless of the visible outcome.  How much I have to learn!  And, how much I need your prayers as I learn these lessons!  Thank you for your patience with me, and for your prayers for me!
     While you are praying, would you please add one more request to your list?  There is a lady in our Baraka women's group who has been struggling with infertility for six years.  She recently had some tests done which show some adhesions and inflammation in one of her Fallopian tubes.  I am hoping that she and her husband will consent to coming with me this Thursday to a hospital in Kijabe so that she can consult with some physicians there who are very well-known and respected for financial and professional integrity.  I and a few others are taking another person to this hospital in Kijabe, and it would be a great blessing to be able to take this lady with us, as well.  So, if you would please pray that she will come, and that a good plan of care will be decided for her that she can afford, and that it will enable her to get the treatment she needs so that she can finally have a baby, I would be so grateful to you.  May God be glorified in all!
     With my love and gratitude always  -
Nancy    

Ugly Underbelly and All!

Hello!
A dear friend of mine asked me recently how my adjustment to life here in Africa is going, and how I have been doing emotionally.  This is my response, and I thought I'd share it with you so you can get to know me a little better - ugly underbelly and all!

So how am I doing emotionally?  It's been a roller coaster the last two weeks.  The adjustment to my new position and home has gone fairly well, but I have dealt with some spiritual warfare the last two weeks.  I don't know if it's because I am missing Andrew and my friends and family, or if it's because I am immersed in the lives and stories of the children here, but I have been really struggling with regret and sadness about how I failed my children when they were growing up because I was so preoccupied with my own struggles in a very unhappy marriage and the tyranny of constant financial problems that were due to my husband's mismanagement of our money, and lack of a decent work ethic.  l came across some things when I was packing that triggered some difficult memories from those years, and it really hit me one morning here - and I just sobbed in the shower when I was getting ready one morning, with the realization of how much I must have hurt my boys.  I have written my middle son, Daniel, about it, since the triggering memory involved him, and asked his forgiveness and help to relinquish this hurt.  He did not remember the situation the same way that I did, and said that it wasn't the hurtful thing that I feared it was for him - that made me realize that this has been an attempt by the enemy to accuse and defeat me, and to try to make me ineffective in my ability to reach out to others here because I am so wrapped up in my own stuff.  The last two Sundays, God has used His Word from Is. 43, and Colossians 2 to remind me that He has nailed my sin and shame to His cross, and I can find freedom from them because of what He has done for me - and wants for me - His "new thing".  

     Now, I know this sounds simple, and has been something that I have known in my head, but to really appropriate in my life and heart is a process that I have really only begun to scratch the surface of.  I think that God gave me  a real sense of His liberation from some of these things yesterday through the sermon, and I have had His peace since.  There is just something about being here and involved in ministry that makes one vulnerable emotionally, I think.  And, if I wasn't convinced that one's own emotional health is so important to safeguard and make sure that God has complete control of my memories and my past before, I am now.  And, to realize that Satan, like a prowling lion, is just waiting for me to let my guard down spiritually and emotionally, so he can wreak havoc in my heart and mind - drives me to my knees in utter dependence on God's grace, and in letting His Word saturate my mind and heart more and more.  No more coasting along on devotionals to give me my spiritual vitamins for the day - I need to be in His Word, putting on His armor, if I am going to engage in this warfare.  I'm sure this is a lesson I will keep needing to learn again and again - I'm a bit dense that way!  I am so grateful that God is a loving and patient Father!

  

   So, while I am taking an emotional risk here that you may be disillusioned with me, I hope it helps you understand that missionaries are not "super saints" - we - and I use the word "we" lightly, since I hardly qualify as being a missionary with only 5 weeks of full-time service under my belt! - are just as human as anyone else, with the same struggles, weaknesses, and heartaches as the next person!  We - I - need your prayers and your encouragement so much as we are on the "front lines" in spiritual battle.  Whenever we try to do anything for God, we can expect the enemy of our souls to be threatened, and to fight back!  He knows where I am weakest, and how to "go for the jugular" to defeat me.

Please pray for me that I will fortify myself with the spiritual armor of Ephesians 6 so that I can be what God has purposed for me to be, and not be swallowed up in my own stuff that can sideline me so easily - that I will put off the things that so easily distract me, and will keep my eyes on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith!

     With love and gratitude  - 

Nancy 

Pictures of Recent Posting Stories

These are some pictures that go with my recent postings - some little cuties from my recent clinic visits, Frida, my friend who gave me the Mother's Day gift of my pedicure, and a picture of my scarlet red toenails!

I hope you enjoy the pictures!

Love and blessings  - 

Nancy

Four Days Without Water, and a Mother's Day Blessing!

Hello!
     We have been without water here on the compound since Sunday afternoon - it has been a long four days!  The main pump that controls our water supply collapsed, and it has taken several days to repair, since it involved getting new cables and all sorts of issues that are more difficult to remedy here in Africa!  It has been a good lesson for me as I have had a very small taste of what many people here in Africa deal with on a daily basis in their struggle to find clean water.  Our water was restored today, and a shower will feel wonderful tonight!  But I am reminded that this is a luxury that I have taken for granted in my western affluence, and a problem that I was content to relegate to a part of the world that was way far away from my experience - until now.  Sure, I knew about the struggles for clean water in Africa and other parts of the world, and applauded World Vision, and other organizations, for their efforts to supply clean water to those in need.  But, there's nothing like actually going without running water, and having to find other ways to get clean water and ways to flush your toilet, etc., to help you realize just how blessed we are to have this luxury - and how much we take it for granted!
     This past Sunday was Mother's Day here in Kenya.  One of the older girls, Frida, who has been a resident here since the beginning of the ministry in 2006, told me that she wanted to give me a Mother's Day present after we returned from church.  She came to my apartment later that afternoon, with her supplies to give me a pedicure -  her gift to me!  I have never had a pedicure, or manicure, for that matter - (just have never thought it was important enough to spend money on!) - so the offer of a pedicure was quite a surprise to me, and I was surprised to find that I felt a little uncomfortable having her wash my feet and paint my toenails!  It reminded me of the servant example of Jesus washing the disciples' feet, and I was humbled and honored that Frida chose me to bestow this favor on.  She told me that her own mother died when she was small, and she has trouble remembering what her mother looked like.  She has a home and family here in the First Love ministry, but I am sure Mother's Day is a sad day for her, and that she misses her mother greatly.  What a blessing that she chose me to connect with this Mother's Day - I hope I can share some motherly love with her as I find ways to spend time with her in the coming months.  I will be starting a discussion group/Bible study with the older girls soon, and hope that Frida will join us.  We will have some cooking and makeup lessons, and try to make the group a fun experience, combining it with discussing the important issues of growing up and what it means to live as God intends us to live for His glory - and our joy.  I am looking forward to this time!
     So now, every time I am surprised to look at my very red toenails, I am reminded that I am loved and cared for, and have an awesome privilege to love and care for all the children God brings into my life here.  May God help me to be aware of and available for all the lovely God appointments that He
has for me each day!
With my love and gratitude for your prayers  -
Nancy

Rain, A Measles Scare and Valentine's Day Celebration

Hello, Everyone!
     This week brought lots of rain, which is unusual for this time of year, but sorely needed.  The horn of Africa, of which Kenya is part, has been suffering through a severe drought and resulting famine, and thousands are starving and dying.  First Love was able to purchase a large supply of maize and beans, due to the generosity of many people in the States, and we have been busy delivering this food in the last two weeks.  May God use and multiply this blessing to the benefit of many!  We had a time of prayer and blessing on the maize and beans before we delivered it, and the children prayed as well, that the food would bless many, and that God would help it to rain.  Well, their prayers were answered in amazing ways!  We have had rain just about every day this week, which is a miracle for this time of year.  I was reminded that Jesus admonished us to become as little children, with simple, unwavering faith. What a great example that has been for me, and many others, as we have seen God answer the prayers of these lovely children!
     One downside to the rain, however, is that it has messed up our internet connection, and I have not had internet this week.  Boy, what a quick reminder to me that I am so tied to my western amenities and comforts, and I am not quite the selfless servant that I strive to be!
     A few days ago, a child came home from school complaining that he did not feel well.  He had a fine rash on his face, neck, trunk and arms, a low-grade fever, and a sore throat.  I have not seen measles in a long time, and especially not on black skin, but was told by one of the caretakers that it looked like measles, since they had a case last Spring and it looked like that.  I was able to take the child to the Dr. the next day, after quarantining him through the night.  Fortunately, he did not have measles, but only a viral syndrome, and he improved throughout the day - especially with some good old motherly TLC and ginger ale!  I am so grateful, however, for the rooms that we have converted into an infirmary - they would have been critically important to stemming the measles outbreak, had it materialized.  I am also very grateful to God that it did not turn out to be measles, and that we were spared that challenge!
     Last night was our Valentine's Day celebration.  The children got dressed up, and we cooked a spaghetti meal, complete with homemade spaghetti sauce, and had pretty flowers and decorations on the tables.  The children had made Valentine hearts earlier in the week and we put them up on the dining hall walls.  Linda Clinton, the wife of Tom Clinton, the director of First Love, made cookies that she decorated with Valentine heart candies, and it was a wonderful ending to a special meal.  Then the children sang and danced, and a wonderful time was had by all!  It takes so little to make these children happy, and it was such a joy to see their faces light up when they entered the dining hall and saw the beautiful decorations and the special dinner they were about to enjoy!  It was definitely worth the effort!
     With the perpetual summer weather here, it is hard for me to remember that it is February, and that most of my friends and relatives are enduring a very hard winter!  I am sending some nice warm Kenyan sunshine to you all as I write this - I hope you can feel it!
     I also send you my love and gratitude for your friendship and prayers.  Much love and many blessings to you  -
Nancy

The Beauty of a Child's Heart

I received the most beautiful thank you letter from Kendy, one of the little girls who I cared for when she was sick recently.  Here it is:

You can't see the words very well, so here is some of what she wrote:  ... "I know that day I was sick you took care of me.  Thank you for your medicine.  ... If you see me please come and greet me.  Thank you very very much.  I love you so so so much.  I love the way you love us.  May God bless you and keep you. .... I will work hard in school."  

The time I spent with her was very little, in comparison to the love and gratitude she has lavished on me for the small kindness that I showed her.  What a lovely reminder of how important it is to me to be grateful, and express my gratitude to my Heavenly Father for all He has done - and continues to do - for me!  I am humbled and touched beyond words.
Blessings to you all  -
Nancy

Monday, February 3rd - It's been a busy week!

Greetings from Nairobi!
I apologize that it's been a while since my last posting.  It's been a busy week!  Once the three girls with malaria recovered, the next challenge was scabies.  I have not seen scabies here very often, but one little girl, Ann, was unfortunate enough to get them either at school, or from a visit out of town recently.  I was told it was her twin sister Grace who had them, but it turned out to be Ann - poor little thing.  Ann was so sweet, and endured the two consecutive weekends of treatment without a complaint!  Miraculously, we have not had any other cases crop up so far, thank God!
The other situation that has kept me busy is that one of our staff members had a complete urinary obstruction from an enlarged prostate that necessitated a visit to the ER in one of the local hospitals.  We were able to get an ultrasound, lab tests, consult with a urologist and two visits with the ER physician in our 9-hour visit, and everything, including the medications, cost about 10,000 Kenyan shillings, which is approximately $117!
It was an interesting experience, to say the least.   The hospital has an amusing way of conducting business - the patient has to pay for every procedure before it is done.  So, when the nurse evaluates the patient in triage, a fee is paid, when the Dr. evaluates the patient, another fee is paid, when labs or diagnostic studies are ordered, another fee is paid, etc. - it's pay-as-you-go medical care!  While there are many disadvantages to the patient who cannot afford a particular procedure, and consequently cannot get the necessary care, it must be very efficient for the hospital!  The staff member chose to go back to America to undergo further testing and possible surgery, and he left for the States this past weekend.  He was uncomfortable wearing his jeans with the foley catheter and bag, so our women's sewing group made him a long gown like the Muslim men wear in this part of the country, and also fashioned a matching bag that he could tie around his waist and wear under his gown to carry the foley bag in the right position and also keep it concealed.  It was quite a learning experience for them, and a blessing to the staff member!
I have also been busy moving the clinic to another dorm space that has some rooms that are not being used presently.  This will enable us to have one room for the clinic, closer to where my apartment is, so it is more convenient for me, but it is also in the boy's dorm, so closer to the children, as well, and another room that will be the infirmary.  Having a room for the infirmary will enable me to keep a closer eye on sick patients, help them to rest without lots of noisy and curious children peeking in on them, and also help reduce the spread of whatever ailment the child has.  I spent the day with one little girl on Saturday who had a high fever and vomiting.  The poor little one could not even keep a sip of ginger ale down in the morning, but by the evening, was able to eat some scrambled eggs and was keeping liquids down, so she was able to return to her room that night to sleep.  We have had a few other children with assorted upper respiratory infections, and the usual bumps, scrapes, and bruises, but nothing else more serious so far.
My biggest challenge that I have been dealing with is learning how to set boundaries with the children regarding my own time.  Previous nurses have allowed the children to come into their apartments whenever they need something, whether it's a bandaid or something else more serious, at any time of the night and day. You can imagine, with 85 children and assorted staff, that this means a consistent stream of visitors just about 24/7.  While I am available 24/7 for any emergency, it gets a little old after the fourth or fifth child comes walking into my apartment unannounced, saying that he or she has a headache, or needs a bandaid, or decides late at night after playing all day, that he or she does not feel well and now needs attention!  I have struggled to find the right balance of knowing how to have the servant attitude that God wants me to have, but also be able to protect my own health and rest.  So, I have decided that I will have clinic hours for the children before and after school each day, and clinic hours for the staff and women in the Baraka center while the children are at school, and any other time for emergencies only.  We'll see how it works - their definition of am emergency and mine are, shall we say, two different things, and will be a matter of ongoing discussion, I'm sure!
I am enjoying finding out about the different churches in the area, and will also try to find a Bible study to be involved in so that I can safeguard my own spiritual health, as well as network with other Christians and learn more about the African culture.  What a great privilege to fellowship with other believers who may come from totally different backgrounds than I, but be able to experience the bond of love for Jesus that makes us family!  This was so obvious to me as we sang together yesterday, worshipping in different languages, yet joyfully focused on our Lord Jesus, the One whose love transcends culture and melts away any barrier!
I send you my love and continued gratitude for your prayers and support.  Thank you, too, for your comments and encouragement - they mean the world to me.  May God hold each one of you in His gentle grasp  - Nancy