Hello, All:
I had the opportunity to talk to Faridah today while I drove her back from the market where the Baraka women are selling their crafts, and she mentioned that I had cared for her daughter a couple years ago. Faridah thanked me for helping her daughter, Chebet, to get the ultrasound and surgery she critically needed because of her severe uterine bleeding. She then shared with me that Chebet
had a baby boy in March - both baby and momma are healthy and doing very well!
What an incredible blessing to learn this wonderful news today! And, what an honor to have been allowed to have a small part in helping Chebet regain her health, and to be privileged to see this blessing come full circle in a way that I never expected! It was wonderful enough to hear that Chebet received the care she needed and is healthy, but to learn that she had a healthy baby as well is beyond wonderful! God is so good!
Thank you for your prayers for me - none of what I am privileged to do would be possible without you!
Love and blessings -
Nancy
One of My Favorite Photos
Friday, April 25, 2014
Monday, April 21, 2014
One African Woman's Story
A few days ago, one of the ladies in the Baraka women's group came to see me in the clinic. She had an eye injury, for which there was really nothing I could do, but when I asked her how it happened, her visit took on a whole different purpose other than medical care.
The woman, I will call her Grace, to protect her privacy, told me that she is a widow whose husband died from HIV/AIDS. Grace, as well as one of her three children, are also HIV positive. In Grace's tribe, when a woman's husband dies, she has the option to be "inherited" by her husbands' family. This means that her husband's family can choose her next husband, and basically control her life - as well as her children's lives. In fact, in her culture, the children belong to the father, not the mother. In some situations, the woman essentially becomes the slave of her mother-in-law and her family.
Grace told me that she received the eye injury in an altercation with her husband's family. The family has been trying to coerce her to do some things that she does not want to do, and have actually kidnapped her son in order to persuade her to participate with their requests. Grace has refused their requests, and has chosen not to be "inherited" by her husband's family - both unpopular and untraditional behaviors. She feels trapped in this situation, and although she has tried to find help to get her son back by talking to the village chief, has not been able to resolve the situation. Grace feels that the chief is against her, as well as her husband's family, and feels very powerless and hopeless.
Of course, as I listened to Grace relay her story to me, I thought of all the ways that a woman in America could deal with a similar situation, and all the legal and social service resources that would be available to her. I was tempted to encourage her to do whatever she needs to do to get her son back, then pack her belongings and move far away from her husband's family. Simple enough, right? Unfortunately, not.
There are no such options as domestic abuse shelters or legal aid for women in Grace's village. The cultural ties of family and tribal influence are stronger than you or I can understand, and Grace will not, and in fact, cannot, successfully go against them. Grace also lacks the financial resources to obtain legal assistance, or move to a new home.
And, as much as I want to be able to help Grace, I cannot get involved in a family dispute, no matter how much I would like to. I will never understand all the cultural rules and social conventions, and could, in my western ignorance, actually make things worse for Grace by trying to give her advice. So, although it goes against my desire to do more to help her, all I can do is try to listen to her, encourage her, and pray with and for her.
This has been a good lesson for me, and has reinforced my belief that the motivation for missionary work, especially medical missionary work, must not be to fulfill my own needs for validation and self-importance, because of a misguided "savior complex", but must always consider what is best for the person or people God has called me to serve. Sadly, I think that many of us in ministry confuse these two things, and may be motivated by a need to be loved, rather than to love, and to be served, rather than to serve. We must be willing to be painfully honest with ourselves and with God, and seek His wisdom in all circumstances - to "Trust in the Lord with all our hearts, and lean not on our own understanding, but acknowledge Him in all our ways - then He will make our paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5, 6) - especially in a foreign country and culture!
I send you my love and gratitude for your prayers for me. And, to continue the celebration of Easter yesterday, will take the opportunity again to rejoice that He is risen - He is risen indeed!
Nancy
The woman, I will call her Grace, to protect her privacy, told me that she is a widow whose husband died from HIV/AIDS. Grace, as well as one of her three children, are also HIV positive. In Grace's tribe, when a woman's husband dies, she has the option to be "inherited" by her husbands' family. This means that her husband's family can choose her next husband, and basically control her life - as well as her children's lives. In fact, in her culture, the children belong to the father, not the mother. In some situations, the woman essentially becomes the slave of her mother-in-law and her family.
Grace told me that she received the eye injury in an altercation with her husband's family. The family has been trying to coerce her to do some things that she does not want to do, and have actually kidnapped her son in order to persuade her to participate with their requests. Grace has refused their requests, and has chosen not to be "inherited" by her husband's family - both unpopular and untraditional behaviors. She feels trapped in this situation, and although she has tried to find help to get her son back by talking to the village chief, has not been able to resolve the situation. Grace feels that the chief is against her, as well as her husband's family, and feels very powerless and hopeless.
Of course, as I listened to Grace relay her story to me, I thought of all the ways that a woman in America could deal with a similar situation, and all the legal and social service resources that would be available to her. I was tempted to encourage her to do whatever she needs to do to get her son back, then pack her belongings and move far away from her husband's family. Simple enough, right? Unfortunately, not.
There are no such options as domestic abuse shelters or legal aid for women in Grace's village. The cultural ties of family and tribal influence are stronger than you or I can understand, and Grace will not, and in fact, cannot, successfully go against them. Grace also lacks the financial resources to obtain legal assistance, or move to a new home.
And, as much as I want to be able to help Grace, I cannot get involved in a family dispute, no matter how much I would like to. I will never understand all the cultural rules and social conventions, and could, in my western ignorance, actually make things worse for Grace by trying to give her advice. So, although it goes against my desire to do more to help her, all I can do is try to listen to her, encourage her, and pray with and for her.
This has been a good lesson for me, and has reinforced my belief that the motivation for missionary work, especially medical missionary work, must not be to fulfill my own needs for validation and self-importance, because of a misguided "savior complex", but must always consider what is best for the person or people God has called me to serve. Sadly, I think that many of us in ministry confuse these two things, and may be motivated by a need to be loved, rather than to love, and to be served, rather than to serve. We must be willing to be painfully honest with ourselves and with God, and seek His wisdom in all circumstances - to "Trust in the Lord with all our hearts, and lean not on our own understanding, but acknowledge Him in all our ways - then He will make our paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5, 6) - especially in a foreign country and culture!
I send you my love and gratitude for your prayers for me. And, to continue the celebration of Easter yesterday, will take the opportunity again to rejoice that He is risen - He is risen indeed!
Nancy
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
A Blessing That Came Full-Circle!
Hello, Everyone!
It's been a few weeks since my last post. Let me catch you up on some things, and share a wonderful blessing, too.
The kids have been sick with a respiratory virus that presents with a high fever, cough, and slightly stuffy nose, but only lasts for a day or two, thank goodness. But, they are pretty miserable for the first day when the fever is high, so I have had to pass out a lot of Tylenol and motherly comfort! They seem to be fine now, just in time for their two-week school vacation! They have this week off, then will do community service at their school next week. How many of our kids would be glad to do that on their vacations?!
The Baraka woman that I spoke of in earlier posts that we have taken to Kijabe Hospital for treatment of infertility is doing well. She had extensive bloodwork done, and it was found that one of her hormonal levels is abnormal, for which she is being given medication. The medication is working, which is very hopeful. Praise God for this good result! Please keep praying for her - it would be so wonderful for her to be able to have a healthy pregnancy and a baby of her own!
I was speaking with Ginger, the woman who leads the Baraka women's sewing ministry, about one of the women in the group named Faridah. Ginger told me that Faridah loves me because I "saved her daughter's life" a couple years ago when I was here. Well, I was dumbfounded, since I couldn't remember anyone who was critically ill that we ministered to during that trip. But, she told me that I helped her adult daughter who had a gynecological problem and needed an ultrasound, but had no money to get one. I remember giving some money to a woman who had severe abnormal vaginal bleeding, and needed medical help, but did not know how serious the situation was, and never heard the outcome of her testing and Dr. visit. I met the woman when we were doing a clinical day in the Kibera slums, and had no way to follow up with her before we left Kenya. So, this woman was Faridah's daughter, and it is a great blessing to hear that her daughter is fine, and whatever help I was able to give was timely and effective in relieving her problem. I have not spoken to Faridah about it, since things like this are very personal, and I don't want to intrude on her daughter's privacy. But I hope that we will have the opportunity to talk sometime, and I can learn more of the details - I am very curious to know what transpired!
I don't share this to pat myself on the back - I was just in the right place at the right time - but to praise God for His mercy and goodness! It isn't often that we get to learn the results of the help we give, especially when we do field work in locations that we may not visit again. We pray that God will bless whatever kindness or medical help we offer, but have to be content not knowing the outcomes of most of our efforts this side of heaven. But God gave me the gift of knowing this happy outcome, and I thank Him for His sovereign hand in Faridah's daughter's life, and for this blessing of knowing that I was able to help her get the help she needed. All glory goes to Him!
Thank you for your prayers for me, and the ministry to which God has called me. Please continue to pray for me, and for the people God brings along my path. As you can see in this small example, you may never know how God uses what you say and do, but sometimes, it ends up being something very significant! May we be ever mindful of our "God appointments", and always ready to be His hands and feet for those who need His love and healing!
Love and blessings to you -
Nancy
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