Highs and Lows

     When I was praying about going into full-time missionary service, one of the "costs" that I had to consider was the sacrifice of being away from my family.  It has been a difficult time lately, feeling homesick, and missing the ones I love so much.
     I just found out last night that my Mom, who is in a nursing home in Indiana, is "declining", as the nurse that I spoke to on the phone worded it, and will be placed in hospice care.  I have so many conflicting emotions about this news - from sadness and frustration that I am so far away and not able to be with her, to peace, knowing that she will be happy and whole again soon, in the Presence of our Lord Jesus.  I am torn about whether or not to make plans to come home sooner than I anticipate on July 23rd.  I just don't know enough about what exactly is happening with my Mom - I only know that she is refusing to eat, and is "detached" - another word that the nurse used to describe my Mom's condition.  I don't know how long she actually has to live, and I know that there is no way to predict that, even if I knew more about her physical condition.  The nurse in me wants to know all the medical details, and the daughter in me just wants to be with her, helping her, and making her last days as peaceful and happy as they can be - neither of which I have the privilege to know and do right now.
     As I have struggled with all of this, the knowledge that God knows all about this, and knew that this would happen while I am here in Africa even before I made my commitment to full-time missionary service, gives me some comfort.  I know that He has some purpose in even this, and that He loves my Mom even more than I do, and has her firmly in His grasp.  I am praying that my Mom will feel His Presence, peace, and comfort even more acutely in these last days, and that she will know how much I love her, and long to be with her.  I have to trust His timing, knowing that He does ALL things well.  I appreciate your prayers for me, that I will trust Him, and have His guidance and wisdom to know what to do as the days unfold, and I learn more about the details of what is happening with my Mom.
     Another concern is the political unrest and violence that is happening in Kenya, and very close to home here in Nairobi.  Last week, two buses were bombed by Islamic militant terrorists in Nairobi, and many people were injured, and several lives lost.  Bombings also happened in Mombasa, which is a great distance from us, but my heart aches for the people of Kenya, as well as many other countries in Africa, who are experiencing this unrest and violence.  I feel safe here in our compound, which is guarded by armed guards, and has a tall security fence and metal gate which surrounds our compound.  The fence is also covered on the top by barbed wire, and our compound is in a remote area - not in the center of the city, which may make it a more desirable target for terrorists.  Occasionally, I have to take some of our children in to Nairobi center for medical care, and I have to go to a mall close to our compound to do grocery shopping.  I must confess that I have some trepidation about doing both of these things, but I feel confident that I am in the center of God's will, and am holding onto His many promises, and feel His peace that "surpasses understanding" in a very real way.  I covet your prayers for my Kenyan brothers and sisters, and for me, as we trust Him in these troubling times.
     On a more positive note, we were able to go to the Lion's Club Hospital in Nairobi last week, and take seven of our children and staff to see the eye doctor - some for the first time ever.  Four of them needed glasses, and we were able to purchase the glasses for them.  I pray that this will make a great difference for these dear people, and I thank God for the Lion's Club services that provide excellent care at an affordable cost.  Two of our ladies were able to get bifocals, and they picked out some very stylish frames, so they will make quite a "fashion statement" when they sport their new glasses in a couple weeks!
     I also heard from a dear friend of mine last week that her missions committee at her church, where her husband is the pastor, has invited me to come to give a presentation about the ministry to which God has called me to their church, which may lead to their church's commitment to prayer and financial support for my ministry.  Her husband is also contacting other churches in their area to arrange for me to speak there as well.  I am so humbled and grateful for this news, and support.  Even if it does not lead to any financial support for my ministry, I am grateful for the opportunity to share my heart for the people of Africa with these churches, and for the opportunity to increase awareness of the needs here.  I need $500.00 -$1,000.00 more a month to be fully funded, and am trusting God for this provision - however He sees fit to provide.  It has been a hard, long, and frustrating road to raise this support, and I have run out of the options that I have been aware of to raise more support.  But, God used this news from my friend this week to show me that He is in control, that He knows my needs, and is working to provide "abundantly above all I ask or think".  And that, even when I can't see how He is working, He is working in and for me, and that I can trust His timing and love for me.  He is good, loving, and faithful - always.
     Thank you for your prayers for me, and for your interest in the ministry to which God has called me.  May God bless and keep you tightly in His grasp  -
Nancy